


Coming Around

by honeybunchesofgoats



Category: Free!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 15:21:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4611723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybunchesofgoats/pseuds/honeybunchesofgoats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alpha.  The word was everywhere.  On his birth certificate, on his license, on the school roster.  But Ai had never identified with the word, in fact, it was like an unhealed brand stamped on the deepest, most intimate parts of him, an ever festering, ever burning wound that made sure Ai would never feel whole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So... I had a dream about this idea and woke up like... I must write this down! So yeah, I never really see any stories dealing with the possibility that someone is trans-dynamic... hope I do the idea justice.

_"Oh he's just the most darling thing, we couldn't have asked for a more well behaved child.  He loves to help take care of the other pups, he's a teacher's little helper!  He's going to make an omega feel very special one day."_

_For as long as Ai could remember, he preferred playing with omegas and betas.  Alphas were too rough, too obnoxious, and often teased him for not being rough and obnoxious like them.  Yes, he was a strange alpha, he supposed, but he didn't think anything of it.  It was simply how Ai was._

_When he started getting older and entered elementary school, Ai started to feel little pinpricks of doubt, like something about him was off.  When he was in preschool, no one questioned his behavior, not the teachers, not the other kids, and not his parents.  But now that he was growing up, it seemed like he couldn't catch a break.  No matter what he did, someone had to comment on how odd he was._

_"Why do you always submit so fast?"_

_"Why are you always hanging out with the omegas?  Aren't they boring?"_

_"You smell funny."_

_"Stop making yourself so small, you're an alpha."_

_"You're bad at this game, we don't want you to play with us.  You can't even run fast."_

_Ai came to the conclusion that he was a damaged alpha, a dynamic he never quite felt right as.  He often wondered what it was like to be an omega, but at his young age he didn't know much about the different dynamics, and figured that it would feel the same, except no one would bug him about the way he acted._

_The older he got, the worse waking up every day became.  He was becoming more and more uncomfortable in his own skin, and it increased tenfold when he was around other people.  He was around eleven years old by the time he had made a niche for himself.  He didn't really care if he was known as the sissy alpha, the pansy alpha, the wannabe omega, or whatever other derogatory name others came up for him.  As far as he could tell, omegas weren't sissies or pansies, so Ai couldn't understand why alphas called him this for hanging out with omegas.  But one day, he'll never forget, his own friends started treating him differently._

_"You... you smell different today, Aiichirou-chan."_

_"I like it."_

_"How about we play a game where you're the dad and I'm the mom, and you have to protect me from the other alphas."_

_"Can I kiss you?"_

_There was a shift, and all of a sudden his friends were showing signs of submission towards him, even if the signs were subtle, Ai felt as if their relationship had changed.  He didn't want to be treated like an alpha, he just wanted to be treated as himself.  So he started to distance himself from them._

_It only got worse as the days went on.  And when the teachers separated the classes by dynamics during health class and had The Talk with them about the changes their bodies would be going through as they fully presented, Aiichirou felt like he was going to throw up.  He remembered looking over to the group of omegas and wishing he was sitting with them, learning about how he would one day be able to bear pups, not learning about how he would go into ruts and be able to form a knot.  He didn't want to be lectured about how to control his aggression or how to be respectful as a dominating dynamic or how to help omegas through their heats.  None of this fit him, none of it applied to him._

_Except it did.  His body started to betray him.  To Ai's horror, he went through his first rut when he was 12, and cried through the whole ordeal, terrified and disgusted alone in his room, refusing to touch himself.  He hated his genitalia, he didn't want them, he couldn't even look at himself when he felt his knot forming as he humped his blankets.  It took all his will power not to scream and claw at his own body._

_He learned he could croon, but he didn't want to croon, he wanted to purr.  Sometimes he would croon to himself and pretend it was another alpha. It helped him get through his ruts.  Ai would pretend everything he was doing was another alpha doing it to him, and he was an omega helping the alpha through it all.  When he pictured himself as an omega, he felt comforted, he felt okay.  He felt right._

_But reality always was cruel.  Ai wasn't an omega.  He was an alpha.  And everyone made sure to remind him of that._

* * *

"Good job today, Rin-Senpai!"

Ai held the stopwatch out for Rin to see, squatting down so he was level with Rin, who was still in the pool catching his breath.  His heart swelled when he saw Rin smile to himself, obviously pleased with his time.  Rin was his room mate, his over-emotional, unpredictable, hot-headed room mate.  Ai adored him.  He was what Ai thought to be the perfect alpha, big and strong, determined, passionate and caring.  It killed him inside knowing that Rin would never look at him the way Ai wanted him to.  Rin treated him like another alpha.  Ai scolded himself.  _Rin loves all his friends dearly, and I should really stop being selfish and ungrateful!_

Rin pulled himself out of the pool and took his cap off, shaking out his hair.  Ai followed him into the locker rooms, chirping about how his times have increased and by how much and how his form looked today.  He appreciated that Rin let him run his mouth, because he was always so excited when he saw Rin swim; it was truly inspiring.  When they were in the locker rooms, Rin stripped out of his suit, causing Ai to blush and look away.  Ai hated being in the locker rooms surrounded by other people who could see his body and he could see theirs.  Ai knew no one paid any attention to him, but he couldn't help the flush of burning shame creep down the back of his neck when he pulled down his shorts.  He started using the shower or toilet stalls to change just to avoid this horrible feeling as much as possible.  They had two omegas on their swim team, and it pained Ai to look at their bodies.  Their wider hips, the lack of a bulge between their legs.  Ai hated his own narrow hips but was eternally grateful he was built small and lean, rather than large and bulky like Rin.  He couldn't imagine the amount of self hatred he'd feel if that were the case.  He already wallowed in enough of it as it was.

* * *

Ai stood with Rin at the bus stop, waiting for Rin's friends from Iwatobi to arrive.  They were going to the beach today and Ai was nervous.  He tugged the shawl he wore tighter around his shoulders.  It was a white, sheer material with little watermelon slices printed on it.  It was perfect for the beach and he found it dirt cheap at the thrift store.  Rin had joked, harmlessly of course, that he was going to start giving the wrong impression and start attracting alphas with his fashion sense, and Ai took the jibe in stride and held his head up declaring that he wouldn't mind a relationship with any of the three dynamics, even though inside he cringed and wish Rin hadn't said anything.  Rin had given him a look and then chuckled awkwardly, slinging his bag over his shoulder and leading them out the door.

So here they were and Ai felt butterflies in his stomach as he watched a bus make its way down the street towards them.  Ai always felt nervous meeting new people.  He was concerned with what they were going to say to him, how they expected him to act, how they would treat him, the list went on and on.  He tried to assure himself that these were Rin's childhood friends, they wouldn't be mean to him.  But deep down he knew that even if someone wasn't intentionally being mean to him, something they said could still hurt his feelings.  He hated feeling like this all the time.  It was of some comfort knowing that none of them were alphas.  Two omegas and a beta.  And an extra beta was tagging along because apparently he was "Nagisa's new best friend".  That was all Rin said about him, because the alpha didn't know the beta himself.

"RinRin!"

In all of Ai's worrying, he hadn't noticed the bus pull up and four people get off.  A blond boy about the same height as Ai launched himself at Rin, flinging his arms around the alpha's neck and rubbing their cheeks together in an overly friendly greeting.  Ai stepped back and looked down at the ground, feeling his face heat up and his stomach feel heavy with a hot, searing pain.  Rin never let him greet him like that.  In fact, no one did.

"Who's this?  Oh, he's cute!"

All of a sudden the blond boy, Nagisa, Ai figured, threw his arms around Ai, knocking him off balance and rubbed their necks together.

"You must be Ai-chan!"

The squeak that left Ai's mouth was less than dignified, and he pushed at Nagisa's shoulders trying to get the boy off of him.  "Please don't... don't call me that!"

"Nagisa."

The boy was yanked off of Ai and a Ai spared Rin a thankful glance before looking down, averting his eyes.  He felt ashamed of himself, disgusted, and he had to blink rapidly to stop tears from forming.  He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up at Rin, who furrowed his brows and studied him.

"This is Nitori Aiichirou, my room mate at Samezuka.  He's a first year and excels in long distance swimming."

"Nice to meet you, Nitori-san.  I'm Tachibana Makoto."

Nitori looked up at the kind voice and his eyes widened.  Makoto was the largest omega he had ever seen!  And didn't even have an omegan build, his body looked just like Rin's!  He felt his face flush but not in embarrassment.  He allowed himself to smile and then ducked his head, bowing slightly, in a more submissive manner than he usually did around strangers.

"And this is Nanase Haruka," Makoto motioned towards a dark haired, blue eyed beta who was wearing nothing but his swimsuit and sandals, and of course Ai knew he was, Rin never stopped talking about him.  And Ai had seen him swim at tournaments.  It was just as thrilling as watching Rin swim, but Ai was biased, and preferred his best friend to anyone else.  Haruka glanced at Ai and then slid his eyes away, seemingly bored and uninterested.

"And I'm Nagisa!"  The blond omega looked at Ai with big eyes, clearly holding back but his eyes sparkled when he met Ai's gaze.  Ai looked away and bowed his head in a shy, polite greeting, exuding discomfort.

"I'm Ryugazaki Rei.  Nice to meet the both of you, Nitori-san, Matsuoka-san."  A tall beta with red glasses nodded to the both of them and Rin nodded back.  Ai wasn't sure what was expected of him, so he nodded back as well, feeling foolish like he was trying to imitate an alpha, rather than just being one.

"Let's go already!" And then Nagisa was pulling Rin by his hand towards the beach, leaving Rei to carry his bags and boogie board for him.  Makoto smiled and pulled along a cooler on wheels and Haruka followed behind, carrying his towel.  Ai picked up his tote bag, which was rather light, and followed closely behind Rin, staying to the side that Nagisa wasn't on.  All six settled in a spot of soft sand, spreading out a blanket and anchoring the corner with rocks.  A flash blurred by Ai and he realized it was Haruka, running off to the water, wasting no time diving into the waves.  Rin wasn't lying when he said that Haruka loved the water.  Makoto sat down on the blanket and offered his hand to Ai, which Ai took shyly, and guided him to sit next to him.  He pulled out a book but let it rest on his lap, not bothering to open it yet.  Nagisa bust into the cooler, digging through the ice to find a drink, and Rei was standing there telling Nagisa not to be so eager, that he was going to spill all the ice, that he was letting all the heat into the cooler, and Ai watched in amusement as Nagisa promptly ignored him.

"Ah!  Here we are!"  Nagisa held two juice boxes up, and turned to Ai, letting Rei be the one to shut the cooler with a sigh.  "Here, Ai-chan!  You can have the watermelon flavored one!"

Ai took the juice box and tensed up as Nagisa flopped himself down next to him.

"Um.  P-please don't call me that!"

Nagisa ignored him and stabbed his straw through the soft aluminum top and hummed around his first sip.  "Tastes sweet!  Just like how Ai-chan looks!"

"Nagisa."  Makoto's voice was soft and chiding, like a parent warning a small child but also full of an endearing tone, as if he couldn't possible get angry.  Ai put the juice box down next to him on the blanket and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his chin on them.

"You okay, Ai?"  Ai flicked his eyes up to Rin and nodded, even though it was a lie.  Rin huffed but didn't push him.  He ruffled Nagisa's hair, an action that had Ai looking away in jealousy, and told him sternly to behave.

"Aw, RinRin, don't worry, I won't do anything bad."

Rin shot Nagisa a skeptical look before Rei spoke up.

"Ah, Matsuoka-Senpai!  I will make sure Nagisa-kun will stay in line!"

Rin raised his eyebrow at the beta, amused at his rigid posture like he was a soldier reporting for duty.  He then looked away and snickered, waving his hand over his shoulder as he walked towards the ocean to join Haruka.

"I'm trusting you, Ryugazaki.  Good luck."

* * *

"I'm so _bored_."  Nagisa huffed and nuzzled his head against Makoto's shoulder, who flipped a page of his book, ignoring the other omega.  "Come swimming with me."

"Nagisa," Makoto pushed up his reading glasses, "You know I don't swim in the ocean."

"You don't?"  Ai couldn't help himself from blurting it out and immediately regretted it.  _How rude of me, they're going to hate me._

Makoto shook his head and closed his book.  "No, I'm afraid of the ocean."

"Oh."  Ai didn't press further.  He felt guilty enough for making Makoto admit his fear.

"Well," Nagisa pouted, "Ai-chan isn't afraid of the ocean, is he?"

"No..." Ai instinctively leaned away from Nagisa, "But I don't want to swim today."  Ai wasn't unfamiliar with wearing his swimsuit around people, but in such a situation where he had to interact with his company rather than focus on practice, he realized he was extremely uncomfortable showing that much skin casually.

"Aw come on, it's so hot out!"

"I'm fine, Hazuki-san.  Really, please, go swim with Nanase-san and Rin-Senpai."

Nagisa grabbed Ai's hands and attempted to pull him up, but succeeded in only moving Ai a few inches along the blanket.  The omega huffed and plopped down in front of Ai.  "You're awfully timid for an alpha," Nagisa sniffed at Ai's neck, making Ai flinch his shoulder up, "And you smell weird."

"Weird?"

"Yeah, like you smell like fresh laundry and warm baked goods... like sugar cookies!  Or, um, hmm," Nagisa sniffed him again, "It's kind of a lemony cookie, I think."

"Oh..."  Rin had always told him that he smelled like flowers and lemonade.

"Yeah, you don't smell like any alpha I've ever met!"  Nagisa pried open Ai's legs and eyed his crotch. "But you're definitely an alpha!"

Ai jolted away from Nagisa, scrambling backwards off the blanket and onto the sand, clutching his knees to his chest.

"Nagisa!"   Nagisa blinked, surprised at Makoto's tone.  Makoto was frowning at him.  Rei jumped up and decided that it would be a good time for him to take Nagisa swimming, dragging the omega away.

"Are you okay?"

Ai couldn't bring himself to meet Makoto's kind gaze but he nodded his head out of fear of being rude.

"You can come back on the blanket.  It's okay.  Nagisa can be a bit much and he doesn't always know when to respect boundaries."

He shuffled back on the blanket and soothed his shorts down and pulled his shawl tight around his shoulders.

"I like your shawl."

Ai finally looked up at Makoto and couldn't help but smile when he saw how sincere and calming the omega was.

"Thanks,"  Ai's voice was small and he ducked his head.

"I could never pull off cute clothes like that."

"But you're an omega!"

Makoto shrugged.  "Doesn't really matter.  I've got really broad shoulders and I'm pretty tall, so I always end up looking a little ridiculous."

"Does... Does that ever bother you?  You know... like... your body?"

Makoto looked at him with his eyebrows raised, but smiled knowingly afterwards.  "It used to... but I'm pretty secure in how I was born now."

"Oh."  Ai finished lamely, looking back down to the blanket.  He wished he could be as confident as Makoto.

"You know, it's okay to feel uncomfortable about yourself.  Well, not _okay_ , but it's normal if you do."

Ai flicked at grains of sand.  "I've never met another alpha who feels like I do..."

"If you don't mind me asking, Nitori-san, how do you feel?  I'm sure I can actually relate to you in this case.  If you don't want to answer, you don't have to.  We can talk about something else."

He didn't want to tell anyone, especially someone he just met, but Makoto was so kind and it was so easy to trust him.  He didn't feel the omega was making fun of him or would tell anyone about this conversation and Ai knew he'd been bottling his feelings in for too long.  Ai sighed and figured that he had nothing to lose but when he opened his mouth he found he didn't know what to say.

"Um, well.  I don't know, really.  I don't feel like a normal alpha.  And I like being around omegas more than alphas but... lately I don't like how either of them treat me... I just feel like I can't fit in with anyone."  Makoto hummed.  Ai continued, "And when I'm around people they expect me to act like a normal alpha, but it feels so wrong to me, I hate it.  I don't want to act like an alpha, I don't want to _be_ an alpha--"

Ai slammed his hand over his mouth.  He couldn't believe he just said that!  Is that how he actually felt?  He felt his heart pick up pace.  _I don't want to be an alpha._   Saying it out loud made it feel real all of a sudden, and the realization washed over him, _poured_ over him, crashing into him like the ocean waves.  Makoto watched him and when Ai looked up at him with scared, wide eyes peeking out over his hand, Makoto smiled.

"That's okay, Nitori-san."

"W-what?"  Ai let his hand fall to his lap and he leaned closer to Makoto, searching his face for any signs of a joke.

"I said it's okay to feel that way.  Have you heard of being trans-dynamic?"

"What?"  His head was spinning.

"It's when you don't feel like you've been born as the proper dynamic.  Or maybe you're an unconventional example of your dynamic.  It could mean many things, it's a very broad term.  If you don't feel like an alpha, do you feel like an omega or a beta?"

Ai gripped the blanket, squeezing it in his fists.  He could feel excitement bubbling up in his throat and he found himself nodding his head.  "I've always felt like I should have been an omega.  Like look at Hazuki-san, his hips and his small body and how he smells and how Rin-Senpai treats him... That's what I should be."  Ai widened his eyes in horror after he realized Makoto was an omega that was none of those things.  "I mean, um, well that's just me, I guess those things don't make a person an omega cause you're an omega and you're not... Like Hazuki-san..."  Ai trailed off embarrassed.

Makoto only laughed.  "Nitori-san, it's okay, I know I'm not a typical omega.  And maybe you aren't either.  Have you ever thought of yourself as an omega?"

Ai looked up at him and couldn't help but be confused.  "But... I'm an alpha?  No matter what I feel like, I'm not an omega... at the end of the day I have a cock and I go into ruts and I'll never be able to bear children and I have narrow hips and I can't purr and Rin-Senpai will never look at me like someone he wants to--"  Ai's voice cut off in a hitch and before he could stop himself he was crying, trying to wipe away his tears and hide his sobs in muffled gasps.

"Nitori-san... come here."

Ai shuffled towards Makoto blindly, covering his face with his hands.  Strong arms wrapped around him and he felt a low rumble vibrate through Makoto's chest.  He looked up at Makoto in surprise.

"You... You can croon?"

Makoto closed his eyes and smiled, then the pitch of the vibration changed and Makoto was purring, rubbing his chin on the top of Ai's head, releasing his vanilla scent to get tangled in Ai's hair.

"You can purr?"

"I'm intersex.  I'm an omega, although parts of me would make a doctor say I was something else entirely.  I'm an unconventional omega."

"I... I've never heard of intersex before."

Makoto sighed.  "They really don't teach people anything in health class, do they?  It's a term for people born with sexual anatomy and or reproductive systems that don't fit traditionally into the three dynamics.  It can vary greatly and they've recently banned reconstructive surgery on infants that are born intersex.  I was lucky enough that they couldn't tell I was intersex at birth, or else if I had gone through surgery I could have very well been made to look like the wrong dynamic.  It's a bit different than being trans-dynamic, but I've dealt with a lot of the same feelings you're having."

Ai screwed his eyes shut, "This is a lot to take in... I... I wish I had known about this earlier.  I would have made things a lot less confusing!  I mean, they still are... But I think I might be trans-dynamic."

Ai let himself relax, as hard as that was in an unfamiliar embrace, but Makoto was so comforting, Ai couldn't help but lean closer to the him and nudge at the omega's scent glands with his nose, breathing in the delicious scent as he inhaled, open mouthed along Makoto's jaw.

"Whoa, I think I'm interrupting something."

Ai jumped at Rin's voice and scrambled out of Makoto's arms.  "N-no, Senpai!  It wasn't like _that_!"  Ai stared up at Rin as the alpha looked down at him with a glint in his eyes.

"I leave you alone with an omega for not even an hour..."

Ai felt too hot all of a sudden and ducked his head.  "No, Rin-Senpai, I swear, I wasn't doing anything like that, I--"

"I'm just teasing, Ai.  Jeeze, lighten up.  I've just never seen you actually do anything like that before."  Rin sat down next to him.  "Maybe our little alpha is a late bloomer."

Ai swallowed, feeling choked up, and he felt tears in his eyes threaten to spill over.  He wanted to say _don't call me that_ but the words were stuck in his throat.

"Rin, Nitori-san and I were just talking.  We get along well, is all."  Makoto rubbed Ai's back and smiled.

Rin smirked.  "Uh huh.  Get along well."  He winked at them.  "Both of you are shit liars.  If I were an omega, I might just be a bit jealous."

Haruka sat down next to Makoto and glanced quickly between him and Ai, his eyes flashing with something knowing and then went to digging through the cooler, obviously over the current topic of conversation.

"Ai-chan likes Makoto?"

Ai inwardly groaned at Nagisa's voice and shifted closer to Rin, hoping that the older alpha would protect him from the feisty omega's wrath.

* * *

Later that night, Ai laid in his top bunk lost in deep thought.  _I'm an omega, I'm an unconventional omega who happened to be born with parts to make people think I was an alpha._   He felt giddy, he felt scared, he felt angry.  Relieved that he now knew he wasn't alone, that there were others like him, that Makoto gave him his number just in case he had questions or needed someone to confide in.

"So."

Ai jumped when Rin broke the silence, and he looked over at his room mate, who was standing on the bottom bunk so he could reach Ai's bed, resting his arms on the bed's railing.

"Rin-Senpai, you scared me!"

Rin chuckled and ran his fingers through his own hair, and Ai couldn't help but be awed by how gorgeous he was.  He rolled on his side to face Rin and smiled, hugging his stuffed dog to his chest.

"So... What actually was going on between you and Makoto today?"

Ai's smile fell and he looked away from Rin.  "We just got to talking is all."

"Didn't look like talking."

"It... It was though.  We realized we... we have something in common and... and he was comforting me.  Cause I was upset."

"You were upset?"

Ai hesitated for a moment, staring at Rin's chest but not really seeing, unsure of how much he should tell Rin.  He slowly nodded his head.

"I... I didn't know you were upset!  What were you upset about?  You know you can come to me for these things, right?

Ai didn't answer right away.  With a shaky breath he opened his mouth, "I... I'm sorry, Senpai.  But I don't want to talk about it."

"What?  Ai, what's wrong?"

Ai turned over so his back was to Rin.  "I really don't want to talk about it.  Good night, Rin-Senpai."

"Wait, it's only like, 7 at night... On a Saturday!"

"Please, Senpai.  I don't want to talk about it."

Rin hopped down from the bed, and Ai could hear him gathering up his things.  "Well I'm going out.  I'll talk to you later."  He sounded angry.

Ai didn't answer, he only hugged his stuffed toy closer and whined as a tear slipped down his face into his pillow as Rin slammed the door.

* * *

"Makoto, I'm being serious!  Tell me what's bothering Ai.  He said he was upset about something you two were talking about but wouldn't tell me."

Rin was pacing back and forth outside of a convenient store a few blocks away from the dorms, his phone pressed to his ear.  He was holding his phone so tightly he thought he might crack it, but he didn't care.

_Rin, if Nitori-san didn't want to share what was bothering him, then it's not my place to share it behind his back._

"Okay but I don't know if you noticed, but Ai is my best friend, and I care about him."

_Then stop prying.  If he wanted to tell you then he would have._

"But why wouldn't he want to tell me?  Is it about me?"

_Rin, stop taking this personally.  Nitori-san has a lot on his mind right now.  Let him deal with his feelings at his own pace."_

"You are so frustrating, Makoto."  Rin's eye twitched at Makoto's laugh.

_That must make you unbearable then._

"Fine.  Whatever.  Don't tell me.  I'm just trying to be a good friend and help Ai out and this is--"

_Oh, stop being dramatic, Rin.  Nitori-san will talk to you when he's ready._

"...You think?"

_Yes._

"Cause he's always been really quiet and shy for an alpha and I do worry about him... Like if someone's picking on him I'd want to know, or if he's having trouble at home again, shit wait you didn't hear that last one from me, but if he's in trouble, I really want to know."  Rin could hear Makoto sigh.

_He's not in trouble.  Let him come to you.  Just be open and understanding towards him, okay?  Don't be aggressive, don't push him.  Just make sure he's comfortable._

"That's what I do normally!  I don't know how much easier on the kid I need to go!  I already try to hold back as much as I can with alpha to alpha interaction because he doesn't react positively to that, I don't know what else to do!  Treat him like a goddamn omega?  Like for fuck's sake, I'm trying with him, I really am!  But he always keeps himself at a distance!"

The line was quiet.

"...Makoto?"

_Yeah, I'm here.  Listen, my advice is to see what type of interaction Nitori-san reacts positively to, and go with that.  Rin, don't get angry with him.  If you have to have outbursts like this call me and do it, don't direct them towards Nitori-san.  Okay?_

"Fuck, what are with all these cryptic answers?"

_Just trust me, Rin.  Nitori-san will come around.  It's not my place to tell you._

* * *

In the following days Ai was hyperaware of how he acted around others.  Now that he thought he might be an omega, he understood why he felt so uncomfortable when another alpha would square their shoulders at him, or give him odd looks when he submitted to them in a slightly omegan fashion.  He now understood why he hated it when omegas giggled at him behind their hands, or subtly bared their necks to him when they conversed.  He didn't want to impress an omega by being an alpha.  If he were to be with an omega, he'd want to be treated as a fellow omega.

"Hey, Ai, why do you do that?"

Ai turned around from his gym locker and tilted his head at Rin.  "Do what?"

"Why do you always back off when any other alpha comes near you?  Even if they don't look at you, you make yourself smaller."

"...W-what do you mean?"  Ai looked around and licked his lips nervously.  There were two other people, an alpha and beta, from the soccer team, but they weren't too close.

"Like... you don't do it around other dynamics.  Just alphas."

Ai shook his head.  "Rin-Senpai, I don't really see what you mean.  I don't want to talk about this here."

Rin snapped his mouth shut at the second time Ai told him straight out he didn't want to talk to him.  That was unlike Ai.

"Can we talk about it in our room?  Is someone bullying you?"

Ai stared at the inside of his locker, seeming lost in thought.

"...Ai?  Did you hear me?"

He jumped and closed his locker, looking at Rin almost dumbfounded.  "Um.  Yes.  I guess."

"Wait, yes to what question?"

Without answering, he shuffled off, eager to get away from his Senpai and this awkward conversation.

* * *

To: Tachibana-san:

_Rin-Senpai is asking me questions again.  I don't know what to do!_

From: Tachibana- san:

_What kinds of questions?_

To: Tachibana- san:

_He asked me why I always act submissive around other alphas.  We were in the locker room and I told him I didn't want to talk about it there. But he expects that we're going to talk about it alone in our room._

From: Tachibana- san:

_He's so pushy.  He's concerned about you, and I think this is his way of trying to figure out what's bothering you.  He knows it has to do with something dynamic related, cause he talked to me about it.  He's aware you don't like being treated like an alpha._

To: Tachibana- san:

_He can tell?_

From: Tachibana- san:

_Well, maybe not so much that you don't like being treated like an alpha, but he can tell you don't respond to him like an alpha would.  Maybe that's why he was asking?_

To: Tachibana- san:

_But what should I do?_

From: Tachibana- san:

_Whatever you want to do, Nitori-san.  Rin will listen if you decide to tell him anything._

To: Tachibana- san:

_He won't get mad at me?_

From: Tachibana- san:

_No, he's your friend, Nitori-san.  And if he does get mad he'll have me to answer to :p_

To: Tachibana- san:

_Please don't get into a fight with him over me!_

From: Tachibana- san:

_I'm only kidding you.  I don't get into fights, worry not._

To: Tachibana- san:

_So should I tell him?_

From: Tachibana- san:

_Tell him whatever you feel comfortable with.  You don't have to tell him everything if you're not ready._

To: Tachibana- san:

_Thank you Tachibana-San!_

From: Tachibana- san:

_Good luck, Nitori-san._

* * *

When Rin came back to their room later that night, Ai didn't wait to see if Rin had forgotten about their conversation in the locker room.  He wanted to get this over with so he could stop worrying.

"Rin-Senpai!  I want to answer your question from earlier!"

Rin stood in the doorway and stared at him until the door swung shut behind him, jolting him back to reality.  He toed his shoes off and rubbed the back of his neck.

"If you want to.  I'm sorry I acted like that earlier.  I shouldn't have.  It wasn't my place."

Ai furrowed his brow determinedly.  "No, I want to answer your question.  See, the thing is, Senpai, I don't like how alphas treat me, so I tend to back off from them so they don't treat me like..." Ai felt his throat constricting and his face go numb.  He took a sharp breath through his nose and continued, despite almost losing his nerve.  "I don't like when alphas treat me like another alpha!"

That clearly wasn't what Rin was expecting to hear because he snapped his eyes to Ai, confusion written on his face.  His mouth was turned down at the corners and his forehead was creased.

"But... You _are_ an alpha.  Why... Why wouldn't you want to be treated as one?  I don't get it, do you want to be made fun of?  Cause that's what's gonna happen, you know.  Luckily the alphas on our team like you enough but other alphas are going to find that weird once they start picking up on it... I don't want to hear rumors going around about this first year alpha who submits willingly to other alphas cause that is only going to lead to a disaster.  You're sure you're not getting bullied?"

Ai looked at the floor and swallowed.  "No... It's not that.  I just would, um, I would rather them not see me as an alpha at all.  So if I make myself small, they won't... see... me."

"Ai?"

"Yeah?"  He hated how weak his voice had gotten.  He wiped his palms on his pants.

"Why don't you want to be seen as an alpha?"  Rin's voice was soft.  Ai appreciated that his friend was being gentle with him and seemed to genuinely care about him.  "Is this what you were upset about?"

Ai nodded his head.  "I hate being an alpha, Rin-Senpai.  It doesn't feel right."

Rin was quiet and when Ai peeked at him through his bangs he saw his room mate standing there, staring at the floor deep in thought.  Ai ducked his head and stared at his shoes, trying to control his breathing.  He felt like he was going to pass out.

"So... Do you feel like anything else?"

"I feel like an omega.  I want to be an omega."

Rin made a face, almost one of distaste and Ai felt his heart drop.  "Really?"

"...Yes.  I'm sorry, Rin-Senpai!  I can change rooms if you want, cause I can understand if you think I'm weird now, but Tachibana-san said that this was a normal thing that some people feel and--"

"Whoa, wait, slow down."

Ai clicked his mouth shut and stared at Rin with wide eyes, his chest heaving.

"Ai," Rin stepped forward and extended his hand out.  Ai looked at it, flicking his eyes between Rin's hand and his face, then hesitantly stepped forward to let Rin's hand rest on his shoulder.  "This actually makes a lot more sense."

"Wait, what?"

Rin laughed.  "Yeah, I thought you were just some weird alpha who didn't know how pack dynamics worked, or were like, getting abused by someone, or you know, like lasting damage from your family.  But... But knowing you feel like an omega just... It just makes sense why you act the way you do."

Ai didn't know what to say so he nodded his head.

"I'm sorry I've said things to you that might have hurt your feelings."

That surprised Ai.  "Oh!  Um, it's okay, Senpai.  You didn't know."

"Still, it doesn't change the fact you're confused about something important and I might have made you upset."

Ai shrugged and looked down, hiding his blush.  He was touched Rin cared about him that much.  He didn't think Rin did, if Ai were to be honest.

"So... You're not weirded out by me?  You don't think I'm some freak or just making it up?"

"No.  I mean, I don't really get it, but I think being friends with Makoto has helped me realize that these things exist."

Ai nodded his head.  It figures Rin knew about Makoto since they grew up together.

"I guess this means I should start treating you like an omega, huh?"

Ai whipped his head up.  "Wait, really?"

"Well, yeah, if that's how you feel.  I mean, I can treat you neutrally in front of other people if that makes you feel better, but in private I'll treat you as I would any other omega."

"Rin-Senpai!"  Ai threw his arms around his friend's shoulders nuzzled Rin's chest like he had always wanted to do, and Rin laughed, placing his hand on his head, ruffling his gray hair and for the first time, everything felt _right_.

"Have you thought about going to the school counselor?  Maybe they could help you with hormone treatment or something."

Ai pulled his head back and looked up at Rin.  "Hormone treatment?"

"Ah, well, I'm not sure, really.  Talk to Makoto.  I think he'd know more about that stuff than I do.

"Oh... Okay, yeah!  I'll ask Tachibana-san what I should do!  Thanks, Senpai!"

* * *

"Hey, Ai."

Ai took a puff of his inhaler and turned to face Rin and Seijuro.

"You should call it a day.  Hit the showers."

Ai couldn't find the breath to respond so he nodded his head and walked off to the locker room.  Rin found him later that night in their room, trying to do his English homework.

"So, Ai.  What was wrong during practice today?  Your head wasn't in the right place.  Even Mikoshiba noticed."

Ai felt his stomach flip.  "Well... I looked into medicine and hormone treatment to help people who might be trans-dynamic and it's just all so expensive.  And because I'm not a legal adult I'd need one of my parents to bring me to the doctors and I... I can't tell them, Rin-Senpai.  They'd disown me.  I don't think I'll be able to really do anything about my situation and I don't know what's worse, the way I felt before I realized I was trans-dynamic or the way I feel now knowing that I have medical help available but no access to it."

Rin sat down on the edge of his bed.  "That sucks.  Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I don't think so.  But thanks, Senpai."

"What if you took a break from homework and laid with me?"

Ai almost fell out of his chair and started to cough, hitting his chest with his fist.  "W-what?"

Rin looked alarmed and amused, but he held his composure and extended his hand to Ai.  "Aren't alphas supposed to comfort omegas?"

Ai felt his cheeks turning red, he could literally feel how hot his face looked.  "Oh, um, you don't, you, um."  Ai took a deep breath.  "You don't um, have to.  Just cause I'm.  Yeah."

Rin snickered.  "Oh shut the hell up and just get over here."

Walking over to Rin's bed was surreal.  Ai didn't feel the floor under his feet and he didn't feel the pain when he stubbed his toe on his textbook and almost tripped.  He stared at Rin with wide, disbelieving eyes when the alpha shifted over so Ai could fit in bed alongside him and wrapped his arms around him.  Ai let himself rest his head on Rin's chest and closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing.  Rin was so warm and so strong; he made Ai feel safe.

"Is this okay?"

Ai bit his lip and nodded, then nuzzled closer.  He sighed and slowly relaxed, grinning when he heard Rin start to croon.  This was it!  Rin was the first alpha to hold him and croon to him, he couldn't believe it.  He let out a pleased noise, and wished he could purr back to show his content, but he let his scent slip out instead, rubbing his chin and jaw on Rin's shirt.

"You definitely smell too sweet to be an alpha."

"Hazuki-san said I smelled like lemon cookies."

Rin pulled Ai closer and his crooning got louder.  "He's wrong.  You smell like wild flowers and lemonade.  I feel like I'm on a summer picnic."

"Well..."  Ai pressed his nose against Rin's shirt, "You smell like the ocean's breeze and something... something... I can't place the smell."

Rin rubbed his chin on Ai's head, covering him in his scent.

"Oh!  Rin-Senpai smells like cherry blossoms!"

"Cherry blossoms?!"

"Well, you also smell like sweat, but I didn't want to say it cause that sounded mean, even though I like it."

"No, there's no way I smell like cherry blossoms.  That's way too delicate smelling."

Ai giggled.  "You're silly.  I like the way you smell.  Rin-Senpai smells amazing."

Rin groaned into Ai's hair.  "You're killin' me, Ai."

They laid in comfortable silence broken only by Rin's croons, basking in each other's scents.

"I wouldn't mind if we did this more often, Ai."

Ai didn't answer and when Rin looked down, he realized his room mate had fallen asleep.

* * *

"So last night I crooned to Ai."

_You did?  That's very nice of you, Rin!_

Rin scowled, trying to cover up his blush even though Makoto couldn't see it over the phone.

"I mean, he was upset, what else was I gonna do?"

_I'm sure he was very happy._

"He fell asleep.  I had to sleep in his bed cause I didn't want to wake him up."

_That's adorable._

"Makoto!"

_Yes?_

"Shut up."  Rin walked briskly down the sidewalk, throwing anyone a glare who dared to spare him a glance.

_No need to growl at me.  I'm not teasing!_

"Well you're acting like I like him or something!"

_Do you?_

"Oh my _god_ , Makoto, there you go again!"

_What?_

"Listen I just found out about his dynamic status, just cause I know he's an omega now doesn't mean I'm gonna throw myself at him like some dog."

_I didn't say you were!_

"Well I'm just saying!"  There was rustling sound and then some hushed voices.  Rin raised an eyebrow wondering if he should disconnect the call.

_You like Nitori and you always have._

"Haru?  What the hell!  Put Makoto back on the phone!"

"Do it!"

_Just admit it._

"I'm not admitting anything!"

_You like Nitori._

"No!  I thought he was an alpha!  I don't really go for alphas, so no, I don't like him."

_You always knew he wasn't an alpha._

"Uh, no?  I didn't?  I actually had no idea, Haru so cut the shit and give the phone back to--"

_Ah, I'm sorry, Rin!  I think what Haru was trying to say is that you always had a soft spot for Nitori-san, and if you hadn't thought he was an alpha this whole time, you would have allowed yourself to like him as more than a friend.  Am I correct?_

Rin was quiet.  He thought back to the first time he met Ai, thinking he was the strangest alpha he'd ever seen.  He had immediately thought he was cute, how could anyone deny it, and although he treated Ai as a fellow alpha, Ai never acted like one.  At the time, Rin couldn't see it for what it was, but now that Ai had told him, Rin understood that he did like Ai, he just hadn't understood that's what he felt.  He just chalked it up as confusion over Ai's strange behavior.

_Rin?_

"I think... I think I have a lot to think about."

And with that he hung up, not giving Makoto a chance to say good bye.  Damn, he liked Ai.  He had always liked Ai.  He was almost relieved that Ai wasn't an alpha, and then immediately felt guilty for having such a selfish thought.  Just because Ai came out to him as an omega didn't mean he suddenly had a sign on him that read "AVAILABLE FOR THE TAKING."  He was still the same Ai he always was, except now he was comfortable to be himself around Rin without fear of judgment.  But Rin didn't want to deny he was nervous.  He didn't know if Ai liked him back, and if he did, how would he treat their relationship?  He told Ai he'd treat him like he would any other omega, but he didn't want to _ignore_ the fact that Ai was trans-dynamic, that would be denying who Ai was, but he also didn't want to focus on it, to make it seem like it was this horrible, bad obstacle.  Rin pinched the bridge of his nose.  He didn't want this whole thing to change their relationship at all, but of course it did.  He really did have a lot to think about.

Perhaps he'd talk to Haru.  Haru was close to Makoto when Makoto went through a lot of major self discovery.  He could give some advice, for sure.

* * *

"What the fuck kind of advice is that."

Haru looked out the window of the cafe, his chin in his hand.

"I don't know what you're confused about."

Rin slammed his fist down and Haru rolled his eyes.  "You literally said do what will make Ai feel free.  What the hell does that even mean."

Haru smirked and let his eyes slide back to Rin.

"It's not funny, Haru!"

"Just treat him like him."

Rin threw his hands up.  "Oh for fuck's sake."

Haru's attention went back to the window and he let Rin calm down before he spoke again.  "Don't treat Nitori like he has a disease.  He is who he is.  Treat him in ways that make him happy, but keep in mind he'll have bad days and he'll be upset about things you won't be able to understand.  Just be there for him.  Even if that means giving him space.  And don't be a dick."

Rin picked at an imaginary spot on the table and let Haru's words sink in.

"Okay... Okay I think I can do that."

"If you mess up don't act like it's the end of the world.  Talk to Nitori about it so you guys can fix it.  Always let him set the pace unless you think he's putting himself in harm's way.  That's all I have to say about it."

* * *

"Good job today, Senpai!"

Ai watched Rin haul himself out of the pool and offered him a towel when he stood up.

"Thanks."

"I think you're definitely going to do good in the tournaments this year.  I wouldn't be surprised if you made it to nationals!  Rin-Senpai is amazing!"

Rin rolled his eyes and scrubbed the towel over his hair.  "Okay, Ai."

"Nitori!"

Seijuro's voice boomed from across the pool and made Ai jump, letting out a squeak.

"Ah!  Yes?"

Rin laughed at him and Ai shot him a glare before returning his attention back to his captain.

"Get over here and show these slackers how to pace themselves!"

"W-what?  I mean, yes!"

He almost slipped on the wet floor as he made his way to the other side of the pool, even though he was walking (and not running) like you were supposed to.  Rin followed a little ways behind him and shook his head, sighing to himself.

Ai stood before his captain, but almost crumpled when Seijuro slapped his hand down on Ai's shoulder.

"Alright, Nitori here is gonna show you how to pace yourselves in long distance swimming.  Endurance is important!"

Ai looked at the four teammates before him and shifted nervously, but with one look up at his captain he nodded his head and stood up straight.

"When you swim longer distances, the key is to pace yourself.  Find a pace that feels comfortable, not too slow but not too fast neither.  You should feel like you're giving yourself a work out but not overdoing it, because you don't want to run out of steam.  Trust me, after your third lap, you'll appreciate your slower, steady pace.  The idea is that you don't want to slow down the longer you've been swimming, but rather, have enough energy to maintain or increase your pace."

Ai looked at his team mates and licked his lips nervously.  His eyes landed on one, who was an omega, and he immediately felt a bit calmer.

"Um, so... I would suggest the four of you get in lanes and we'll start with 5 laps.  This isn't a race and I'm not timing you so really, try to find a pace you think will allow you to finish strong.  Don't burn out before the five laps are done.  That's our goal."

Seijuro clapped him on his back and let out his booming laugh.  "That's our Nitori.  I'll leave you to it."

And with that, he was left to help mentor these four swimmers.  He didn't really feel like he should have been the one to do this, but he didn't want to let his captain down.  Ai watched his teammates as they swam, and could already tell one of the alphas was pushing himself too much.

"Ah, Fujimoto-Senpai, please pace yourself!  Remember that this is only the second lap!"

It seemed his instructions fell on deaf ears and Ai sighed as the alpha kept at his pace.  His omega teammate was slower than the other three alphas, but Ai noticed he was the only swimmer who was focusing on keeping a steady pace and Ai smiled, happy that someone was at least listening to him.

"Fuck, this is stupid."

The alpha that wasn't pacing himself stopped and yanked his swim cap off.  Ai walked up to him.

"It's okay, Fujimoto-Senpai, this is part of learning how to pace yourself--"

"No, shut the fuck up.  I don't care.  I don't want to swim long distances, I'm a short distance swimmer I don't even know why the captain has me doing this."

"U-um, well, long distance builds up your endurance, like Captain Mikoshiba said, endurance is important if--"

The alpha growled at him and Ai flinched back.

"No, I don't give a shit.  This is stupid.  I'm not doing it."

"I know it's frustrating the first time b-but if anything were easy than anyone could do it!  So you shouldn't give up!"

His team mate glared at him.  "You're a fucking first year so how the fuck would you know.  A pathetic looking alpha who can't even stand his own ground."  The alpha climbed out of the pool and towered over Ai.  At this point one of the other alphas had stopped swimming to see what was happening.  "I'm not listening to you and I'm not putting up with this bullshit."

"Oi."  Rin stepped in front of Ai and glared at the alpha.

"Are you kidding me?" The alpha continued to address Ai, "You actually _can't_ stand up for yourself.  And I'm supposed to listen to you?  Unbelievable."

Ai felt ashamed when he heard a whimper leave his mouth, but he couldn't stop it, and he hunched his shoulders, looking at the ground.  He had just done what his captain had told him to do.  None of the other teammates had an issue with him.  _Why did it always boil down to my dynamic?_

"Hey, don't talk to him like that.  I don't give a shit _who_ Mikoshiba put in charge to teach you, but you listen to them.  Because you're on the fucking swim team.  That's the whole fucking point.  It's not a game, it's not a battle of dominance.  So get your head out of your self-righteous ass and treat your teammates with respect.  Especially when they're trying to help you."

"Hey, you hear that?  Your boyfriend is standing up for you, because you're too chicken shit to demand respect for yourself.  An alpha who needs another alpha.  Fucking pathetic."

Rin growled and raised his fist to throw a punch but Ai grabbed his elbow.  "No, Rin-Senpai, don't!  You'll just get in trouble and it's not worth it!"

"The hell it is, Ai!"

"What's going on over here?  Matsuoka! Fujimoto!"  Seijuro walked up to them and crossed his arms over his chest.  Ai took a deep breath and stepped out from behind Rin.

"It's not Rin-Senpai's fault!  He was only sticking up for me when I couldn't help Fujimoto-Senpai--"

"Cut the bullshit, Ai.  This asshole was bullying Ai.  Calling him names and wouldn't listen to him when Ai was giving him advice on his swimming."

The alpha in question raised his eyebrow and smirked, amused that Rin was still speaking for Ai.  Seijuro turned to Ai.  "Is this true?"  Ai stared at him for a minute before finally nodding and bowing his head.  He felt so stupid and worthless.  He couldn't even help his teammates!

"Fujimoto?  Care to explain?"

The alpha turned to the captain and shrugged his shoulders.  "I didn't say anything that he didn't deserve to hear."

Seijuro raised his hand when Rin growled, immediately silencing him.  "You know, I chose Nitori for a reason.  He knows what he's doing and he could kick your ass in a long distance race, and I expected you to be a halfway decent teammate and listen to him.  But I apparently misjudged your desire for learning and advancing your skills, so you may go to the locker rooms and call it a day for now.  Bullying isn't tolerated in this school and we'll be having a talk with the administration.  You are dismissed."

Siejuro turned to Ai.  "If you're up to it, you can continue practice, if not, you can be dismissed for today as well.  It's up to you.  You're not in trouble."

Ai looked down at his feet feeling rather stupid and inadequate, but he didn't want to give up because of one alpha.  "I think... I think I'll stay and help my teammates."

"Atta boy!"

* * *

"Ai, I think you should come out to Mikoshiba."

Ai whipped his head up from where it was buried in Rin's chest and stared at him in the dark.  He started shaking his head.

"No... N-no that would be terrible.  That's an awful idea."

"I think he should know though, so he can make sure the team is treating you right and no one is bullying you."

"Rin, that was one time, I swear.  Fujimoto-Senpai was the only one to ever give me a problem.  N-no one else has ever bothered me... I don't think I need to tell Captain Mikoshiba."

Rin sighed and adjusted his hold on Ai, shifting him closer and throwing a leg over Ai's, getting their limbs tangled together in the sheets.  "I know, but you're still a first year, and relatively new to the team. You have two and a half more years of this and that's a good amount of time for someone to decide that you'd make a good chew toy."

Ai was silent and breathed in Rin's scent, letting the salty-sweet taste roll over his tongue.  "I just... I don't think it's a good idea right now.  I don't want to."

The sigh Rin muffled in his hear seared hot shame on his scalp, and he felt like he had disappointed Rin.  _Why can't I be stronger?  Rin must think I'm so weak._

"Well if you ever want to tell anyone else, let me know and I'll be there for you.  If you want."

"Okay.  Thank you, Senpai."

Ai closed his eyes, hoping that the conversation was over.  He leaned into Rin, letting his body press up against him, trying to soak up as much warmth as he could.

"You're so big and warm, Senpai."

Rin's little huff of laughter sent sparks down Ai's spine and he hid his smile in the fabric of Rin's shirt.  He adored his room mate.

"Do... Do you always cuddle with your omega friends?"

"What?  We are totally not cuddling."

Ai giggled and nudged Rin with his nose.  "We totally are, Senpai."

"Nuh-uh."

"Whatever you say, Senpai.  But you didn't answer my question."

"I don't really know what to say."

Ai let his fingers trail along Rin's side, but kept his touches innocent.  He didn't want to be too bold and mess up any chance he had with Rin.  "Well, do you cuddle with Hazuki-san?  Or Tachibana-san?"

"When we were younger we did sometimes.  But like, we were children.  Why do you want to know?"

Ai brought his hand back to himself and tucked it against his chest.  "You said you were going to treat me like you would any omega... So I was wondering if this is how you treated other omegas."

When Rin didn't answer Ai spared a peek up at him and immediately looked back down.  He traced shapes on Rin's chest to pretend to distract himself.  Rin had been looking down at him with his mouth slightly open, the tips of his sharp teeth showing, and he looked caught off guard.

"Well... No.  But, uh, I guess you're just extra special to me, then."  Ai heard Rin swallow.

"Special?" He peeked back up at Rin and tilted his head.  He had stopped halfway through drawing a heart.  Rin nodded and then his eyes softened.

"Yeah, you're special to me.  More special than any other omega I've met."

Ai was sure that even in the dark, his blush was glowing bright for anyone with working eyes to see.  He bit his lip and smiled, ducking his head and drawing the rest of the heart, letting his fingertip drag slowly along the soft cotton.  He pressed his hand flat over it.

"You're special to me, too, Rin-Senpai."

He felt the soft thump of Rin's heart under his palm, the gentle rise and fall of Rin's chest, the slight rumble of Rin's crooning.  Ai thought his own heart could burst when Rin brushed his fingers through his hair and settling his hand on the back of Ai's neck, where he played with the shorter hair there.

They fell asleep like that, holding each other close, keeping their confession sheltered between them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip! Ai is now a second year.

"You're fucking an alpha!"

Rin slammed his locker shut and strode up to the two alphas.

"Excuse me?"

They laughed.  They looked like first years.  Possibly on the track team.

"You're fucking that alpha... That small one.  The second year.  What kind of alpha fucks another alpha?"

Rin felt his jaw clench and squeezed his hands into tight fists.  "You know it's fucking _rude_ to pry into people's _personal life_ like that.  Haven't you been taught any manners?  Or were you raised in a barn?  Cause I wouldn't be surprised at all to find out your parents were pigs."

"Wow, sick dis.  I wouldn't be surprised if _you_ were raised in a barn because apparently you'll hump anything with a pulse and a hole--"

Rin punched the kid in the face before he could finish and then kicked the shins of the other.  Five minutes later Rin was in the school's guidance counselor's office.

* * *

"Rin-Senpai!  You did what?!"

Ai couldn't believe his ears when Rin told him what happened.  Rin shrugged and held the ice pack Ai had gotten him to his cheek.  "The bastard only got one punch in, but I got them both good!"

"Rin, you shouldn't have been fighting!"

Rin growled and Ai smacked him on the forehead.

"Don't growl at me!  I'm serious!  You can't get into fights!  You could have been suspended and that would have screwed up any chances for swimming scholarships!  Rin you have your dream to focus on!  Don't mess it up because of some stupid alphas in the locker room!"

Sousuke's deep chuckle snapped both Rin and Ai out of their heated argument.  The tall alpha shut the door behind him and slung off his backpack, placing it on floor on top of his shoes.  "Nice seeing you here, Ai.  Making sure Rin doesn't fall apart?"

Ai looked at the ice pack and scowled.  "No, I'm making sure Rin-Senpai doesn't get in any more fights."

Rin smiled up at him.  "Ah, you called me Senpai again.  You can't stay mad at me."

Ai huffed and turned to Sousuke, bowing his head.  "But it's nice to see you too, Sousuke-Senpai.  I was just about to leave so--"

"No, Ai, stay."  Rin pulled at his arms.

"No!  I'm mad at you right now!  You can't be getting into fights like that!  I don't care what they say about me or you!"  Ai shrugged Rin off and walked towards the door muttering under his breath.  "What am I going to do with all of you alphas."

Sousuke ruffled his hair when he walked by and Ai couldn't help but let his shoulders relax at the touch.  "I'll see you later on, Ai?"

Ai nodded.  "Right."

* * *

"Ai-Senpai is so cool!"

Momo clutched Ai by the shoulders and stared at him with bright, shining golden eyes.  Ai turned his head to the side and averted his gaze, but pushed weakly against Momo's chest despite not wanting to offend his overly exuberant room mate.  "Ah, not really, Momo-kun.  Sousuke-Senpai just said he'd help coach me a little a few times a week.  It's not that big of a deal."

"But you're so dedicated to swimming you're practically having a _second_ practice on your own time!  That's so awesome!  You're so _cool_ , Ai-Senpai!"

Ai sighed and rolled his eyes and pushed harder against Momo's chest.  "Thank you Momo-kun, but I have to go now."

"Right!"  Momo stood up tall and beamed down proudly at Ai.  "Have fun with Sousuke-Senpai!"

* * *

Ai's chest was squeezing and his breaths were coming in sharp gasps.

"Here."  Sousuke handed Ai his inhaler.  "You did good tonight."

After Ai caught his breath, Sousuke helped him out of the water and handed him a towel.  They walked back to the locker rooms with Sousuke's hand securely on the back of Ai's neck.

"Do you think I'll be able to make the relay?"

Sousuke studied Ai and if Ai wasn't familiar with him, his stony expression might have come off cold and intimidating.  Instead, Ai knew that Sousuke was just thinking, being a boy who liked to chose his words wisely.

"I think you might have a chance if you keep improving.  But I can't give you a definite yes."

Ai picked up the granola bar Rin had left for him.  He couldn't help but feel let down; he had been working so hard to improve, and Sousuke was kind enough to help.  _There really isn't a reason I should feel upset._   Ai tore into the foil wrapper with his teeth and peeled it back.

"Want a bite, Senpai?"

Sousuke shook his head and wrapped his towel around Ai's shoulders.

"Let's get you back to your room."

* * *

_"Boy, that little alpha sure has a reputation.  He's got two alphas bending him over now... must be a good fuck."_

Sousuke felt himself stiffen.  Rin was still on his way to lunch, so Sousuke was sitting on the grass alone, leisurely eating his food and enjoying the sun.  Until the group of students a little ways from him decided to open their mouths, that is.  Sousuke knew about Ai's dynamic as a result of being around him and Rin so much.  Anything that was important to Rin was important to Sousuke, and he assured the little omega that he could always come to him if he needed.  Sousuke didn't look over to the group, he didn't want to acknowledge them, and decided to ignore them, and slowly took another bite of his lunch.

"Momo, I'm telling you now, get that thing away from me, _or so help me._ "

Rin's voice cut through the tense air and Sousuke allowed himself to smile at the sight of his two teammates bickering.

"But Rin-Senpai, look!  It's the perfect friend for Pyunsuke!"

Momo had a huge beetle in his hand, and was almost vibrating with excitement.  Rin sighed overdramatically and flopped down next to Sousuke and laid back on the grass, covering his eyes with his arm.

"Sousuke-Senpai, Sousuke-Senpai!  Look!  Isn't this the coolest beetle you've ever seen?  Other than Pyunsuke of course, but look at its coloring!  Such a healthy beetle--"

"Momo."  Rin growled through clenched teeth and sat up fixing the first year with a glare.  "Enough.  Eat your lunch."

Momo seemed unfazed by Rin's grumpiness and opened his lunch like he was told to, but kept rattling on about his beetle between bites.  Sousuke chuckled as Rin shook his head.

_"Hey, isn't that his room mate?  You think he's letting a first year fuck him too?"_

_"Probably... Seems like the little bitch is a slut for alphas."_

Rin's eyes shot open and Sousuke grabbed his arm in warning, slowly shaking his head.  Rin bared his teeth and yanked his arm back.

"Don't, Rin.  Don't look at them."

_"Man, what kind of alpha wants to be fucked?"_

_"Probably has a pussy.  I wonder if he'll let us find out."_

Rin slammed his lunch down and practically scrambled off to the group, launching himself at them and pinning one of the students down.  It was the same student he punched in the locker room a few days ago and Rin saw red, unable to stop himself from slamming the kid's head back on the ground.

" _You_ again!  You shut the fuck up!  Don't you dare fucking touch him!"

The other students jeered and laughed, and the alpha pinned under Rin sneered.  "What, don't want me touching your little bitch?  You don't seem to mind sharing him with your friends."

" _Shut up, don't you fucking touch him."_

Rin punched the kid in the face as hard as he could and felt satisfaction bubble up inside of him when the alpha spit out blood.

"Rin!"  Sousuke pulled Rin off and on reflex Rin whirled around and threw a punch, clipping Sousuke in the chin.  "Rin.  Stop."

The alpha Rin punched sat up slowly, blinking stars out of his eyes and rubbing his jaw.  He grinned at Sousuke and Rin, blood trickling through his teeth and down his chin.  "I'm going to find out what makes that alpha so worth fighting over.  Gonna see for myself what's so great about him, see if he does have a pussy, wanna see how good it feels--"

Sousuke didn't know what came over him.  One second he was holding Rin back, and the next he was on top of the alpha, struggling to turn the alpha on his stomach so he could sink his teeth into the back of the bastard's neck and shake and shake and _shake until he felt the snap_ \--

"Sousuke! Stop! Holy shit!"

Rin's voice froze him, and he blinked, looking around confused.  Teachers were running towards them and the alpha beneath him was half turned on his side, glaring up at him.  He slowly sat back and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, groaning.  Momo stood where their lunches were, his body in an alert stance, eyes wide with shock as he watched the scene unfold, his beetle crawling up his arm.

"Care to explain what is going on here?"  A teacher approached them with the administration's head jogging over to them not too far behind.  Rin swallowed, resigned to the fact that he and Sousuke were in deep shit, but needed to address the real problem here, the one thing that terrified him the most.

"Yes, I'd like to report that a student here is in danger of sexual assault."

* * *

Ai wasn't sure what to expect when he was called from class to go to the guidance counselor's office.  With each step he felt dread trickle down his spine and by the time he reached the guidance counselor's door, Ai was a ball of nerves.  His stomach dropped when he opened the door to see Sousuke and Rin, both wearing stony expressions.  That unsettled Ai the most.  It seemed everyone knew what was happening except him, and he couldn't stop the feeling that he was about to be told something very, very bad.

"Ah, Nitori-san.  Please, come in.  You're not in trouble."  The counselor's voice was soft, but Ai still felt like he was going to puke as he stepped into the room and shut the door behind him.  He could barely bring himself to look the counselor in the eyes, but when he did he immediately regretted it because he saw that the head of the administration was here.  _Rin is getting suspended from the swim team and somehow it's my fault._

Ai wanted to go to Rin for comfort but he was too guilty, too ashamed.  Instead, he just stood in the middle of the room, all eyes on him as he trembled, trying to keep himself standing tall for the sake of showing his superiors respect.

"Matsuoka-san and Yamazaki-san have brought it to our attention that a student may pose a threat to you."

Ai furrowed his brow tilted his head.  "I... I'm sorry, sir, but I don't understand."

"Today at lunch they got into a fight with a student who was making threats on your behalf.  Your safety is our number one priority, so we are taking as many steps as we need to make sure you feel comfortable here at Samezuka Academy, and to prevent any acts of violence from taking place against you."

Ai looked between Rin and Sousuke, utterly lost for words.  "I'm sorry.  I still don't understand.  Someone wanted to hurt me?"

"A third year, Nakayama Souta made threats to assault you. We're unaware if he was being serious or not, but we take these matters extremely seriously."

The feeling coiling inside of Ai's stomach was something he had never felt before.  It was cold, wet, but at the same time all too hot and made his mouth dry up.  He realized, with a small gasp, it was fear.  Someone at this school wanted to hurt him.  Someone at this school was declaring behind his back that he planned to assault him.  He brought his hand up to his forehead and pushed back his bangs, feeling but not really noticing the layer of sweat that had formed.

"W-why?  Why d-did someone want to h-hurt me?"

And the silence that followed his question was too heavy, too pregnant, and Ai felt himself shaking his head.  It wasn't _that_ , no, it couldn't be.  No one knew about him, there was _no way_ anyone knew.

"Ai," Rin stepped forward and placed his hand on Ai's shoulder to steady him.

"I... I think," Ai didn't know what made him start his sentence and it was almost as if he wasn't in control of the words leaving his mouth, "I think I know why Nakayama-san was targeting me."

"Ai."  Rin said his name again and moved his hand to the back of his neck.  Ai closed his eyes, drawing comfort from the familiar touch, then opened them and nodded his head, mostly to himself, and took a deep, steady breath.

"I... I'm not very good at interacting with other alphas.  I suppose that makes me a bad alpha and an easy target.  I didn't think it would cause such a problem and I sincerely apologize for all the trouble I put everyone through!"

Ai bowed and squeezed his eyes shut, wishing in this moment that he was never born and could disappear.  He didn't see the knowing looks the guidance counselor passed with Rin because he was too busy holding his bow and wallowing in self loathing.

"Nitori-san."  Ai peeked up at his counselor and jumped when he saw him kneeling in front of him, angling his head so he could see Ai's face.  He stood up straight and felt weird looking down at a teacher.

"Y-yes?"

"There is no need to apologize.  None of anything that happened was your fault."

"As you are aware,"  the head of the administration's voice startled Ai, "Matsuoka-san is the captain of the swim team.  I know he's your friend but this changes his responsibility with the knowledge that a student on his team is being bullied.  He needs to treat this situation as a teacher would and do what he thinks is best for your benefit, regardless of your personal relationship.  He has a team to manage, and as a member of his team, your safety is his utmost priority."

Ai nodded his head.  "Yes, sir."

"Are there any more questions?"  Ai was grateful for the counselor's kind voice instead of the administrative head's stern one.

"Um.  Are Sousuke-Senpai and Rin-Senpai in trouble?"

His counselor's laugh was soft and amused.  "You are dismissed, Nitori-san."

* * *

"Yeah, we got in trouble, but only cause we got into a fight instead of immediately going to a teacher.  It had nothing to do with you."

Hot tears rolled down Ai's face.  "But Rin-Senpai, if I had never told you about me o-or gotten you and Sousuke-Senpai involved, none of this would have ever happened!  I should have just kept my mouth shut!"

"It's not as bad as you think it is, Ai.  They took into consideration that we were provoked and also the target of their bullying--"

"What?!  Rin-Senpai and Sousuke-Senpai are being bullied because of me?"

Ai covered his face with his hands and muffled his cries into his palms, smearing his tears and capturing his damp breath against his skin.  He didn't notice Rin had wrapped him in his arms until he felt the familiar croon reverberate throughout his body.

"Ai, no, nothing is happening _because_ of you."

"Yes it is!  Please don't deny it, Senpai!  I should have never told you, I should have never told anyone!  I'm stupid, I'm so stupid!"

"Ai--"

"No, Rin!  You're scholarship is more important!  Stop doing this because of me!  I'm not as important as your dream!  This isn't worth it!"

Rin's arms loosened and fell away and Ai felt cold.  He wrapped his own arms around himself and sniffled.  "Ai... Please don't say that."

"Well, it's true, isn't it?  He was saying stuff about my dynamic, wasn't he?  What else would he have been talking about?  Something so stupid shouldn't be causing this much as a problem.  I'm tired of being a burden!  I'm tired of having this burden!  I don't want it anymore!"

Before Rin could answer, Momo opened the door and threw his books down on the floor with a complaint about how boring class was.  Momo froze at the sight of Ai crying and Rin looking like he was about to himself.

"Um, I can leave...?"

Ai shook his head.  "No, it's okay, Momo-kun.  I was on my way out."

"Ai, wait, please talk to me about this."

"There's nothing to talk about, Senpai.  I meant what I said.  You shouldn't waste your time on a confused alpha like me.  I made a mistake and I'm sorry.  It was more trouble than it was worth."  Ai grabbed his jacket and sneakers and ran out of the room, letting the door slam behind him.  Rin stood there with his mouth open, in total disbelief of what Ai had just said.

"Um, did Ai-Senpai just say he was an alpha?"

Momo's voice jolted Rin back to reality and Rin nodded his head.  "Yeah, he did."

"Ai-Senpai is an alpha?"

"No.  Now's not a good time for this conversation, Momo."  And then Rin was out the door, trying to think where Ai would have run off to.

* * *

"Ah, Makoto-Senpai, is this a bad time?"

_Not at all, Ai-kun.  How are you?_

"I said some things to Rin-Senpai that I shouldn't have, and now I'm pretty sure he hates me and I've ruined everything!"

_I am positive that Rin doesn't hate you, Ai-kun._

"But you don't understand!  I ruined everything!"

_Do you want to tell me what happened?_

"I..." Ai sighed and kicked a pebble down a storm drain, hearing it land in water with a _thulnk._ "Today Rin-Senpai and Sousuke-Senpai got in a fight with a student over me.  Rin-Senpai fought with this student a few days ago, too.  It was a pretty bad fight and... and I'm so scared that if he doesn't stop these fights he's going to get suspended or get kicked off the swim team and ruin his future because of me!"

_Do you know why Rin and Yamazaki-san got in a fight with this student?_

"Well... They said the student was threatening me.  So that's why I was called to the counselor's office and told that they were going to make sure nothing bad happened to me... But I'm still scared that someone will hurt me or Rin-Senpai.  A-and I told Rin that... That none of this was worth it!  I should have never got anyone involved and I'm so stupid, Makoto-Senpai! "

_Ai-kun, you're not stupid.  What do you mean by what you said, that you shouldn't have gotten anyone involved?_

"About my dynamic.  I think the student was threatening me about my dynamic.  But I'm so tired of this!  Why does everything have to be about that?  I just need to stop doing this to everyone and suck it up and be the alpha I am so no one else gets in trouble!"

_Do you really think that's going to make everything better?_

"F-for them.  No one will pick on us anymore and e-everything can go back to normal and... Oh, I don't know.  I'm sick of all this, Makoto-Senpai.  I don't want to deal with this anymore."

_Now, I might be wrong, but I have a little feeling telling me that I definitely don't believe you when you say that.  You want everything to go back to normal, but what is that?  Going back to when you were pretending to be someone you weren't?  That doesn't seem like it will help anyone, especially not you._

"But it will be easier.  And they won't get in trouble anymore."

_Rin and Yamazaki-san care about you.  I know and you know, that ignoring your feelings won't change how they feel.  It won't change anything except make you feel worse about yourself.  You can't make their choices for them by being someone you're not, they're not that gullible Ai-kun, and if I know anything about Rin, he would never give up on you.  None of this will be easy.  Nothing is your fault.  They know where they stand, Ai-kun, and they stand with you._

"But... I wish they didn't!  I wish they would realize that my problems aren't worth it!  I'm not worth it!"  Ai's voice cracked and he closed his eyes.

_Of course you're worth it, Ai-kun.  You're such a charming, smart, determined person and we all love having you around._

"That's... That's not true..."

_Yes it is, Ai-kun.  If you could only see how Rin looks at you!"_

"M-makoto-Senpai!"  Ai's eyes flew open and he blushed, mortified even further when Makoto's laugh rang out over the phone.

_Please go talk to him, Ai-kun.  Your feelings are valid and important and you deserve all the love Rin has to offer you._

Ai nodded his head before he realized Makoto couldn't see him.  "R-right.  Okay.  Thank you, Makoto-Senpai!"

_Of course, Ai-kun.  Please call me if you need to talk._

"I will.  Thank you."

* * *

Ai didn't necessarily want to go back to the dorms and talk to Rin, but he knew he had little choice if he wanted to sleep that night.  His nerves were buzzing around his stomach making him feel queasy, and his mind felt like it was on a treadmill that only picked up speed, never giving it a chance to rest.  He had to talk to Rin, there was no other option.  The sour taste in his mouth grew stronger with each step he took towards the dorms, and when he found himself raising his hand to knock on Rin's door, it felt as though he was sucking on a rotted lemon.  He gave three soft knocks and then waited.  He stared down at the hallway's carpet, as if the boring, standard navy blue flooring were the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

"Ai?"  That wasn't Rin's voice.

"S-Sousuke-Senpai?"

"That's me."

Ai bit his lip and fidgeted in place.  "Right, um.  Is Rin-Senpai there?"

"No.  He's out looking for you."

If he were in any other situation, he'd laugh.  But instead the treadmill in his head switched to a higher setting and soon he felt his thoughts tumbling, tripping over themselves on the belt.

"You should come in, Ai.  I'll text him that you're here."

"Oh.  Right."  Ai shuffled into the room when Sousuke stepped aside, gesturing with his arm.  "Thank you, Sousuke-Senpai."

Sousuke shut the door behind Ai and made a noise that Ai figured was his way of saying _you're welcome_.

"Um."

"Just come sit down.  That's all I want you to do.  Sit and relax."  Sousuke guided him with a hand on each of his shoulders to sit at his desk.

"Your desk isn't as clean as Rin-Senpai's... I bet he yells at you for it."

Sousuke took a seat at Rin's desk and rested his head against his hand.  "He doesn't really comment on it.  Did he used to yell at you?"

"About my desk?  All the time.  But to be fair I have a lot more stuff than you and him combined... I suppose it's for the best that I'm room mates with Momo-kun now.  Momo-kun has a lot of stuff too."

"Living stuff."

Ai shuddered.  "Unfortunately, Momo-kun likes his beetles... But... I guess they can be cute.  Sometimes."

"You don't fool anyone."  Sousuke was smiling at him, his eyes half lidded.  Ai ducked his head down, smiling a little at being caught in his harmless fib.

"Well, okay.  I think they're very gross.  But as long as he keeps them in their enclosures I'm okay with it.  Not like that time he chased me with that giant frog.  Where did he even get that thing, anyway?"

"I don't think I've ever heard you scream like that before."

"Ah... That's pretty embarrassing, Sousuke-Senpai."

Sousuke laughed and then stretched, yawning as reached above his head and leaned back in his chair.  The door swung open, startling Ai and making Sousuke laugh again.  Rin stood in the doorway, breathing like he had just run a marathon.

"What the hell, Ai!  I was looking everywhere for you!"

Tears blurred Ai's vision and he looked down, unable to meet Rin's eyes.  "I'm sorry, Rin-Senpai!  I didn't mean to worry you like that, I just got upset a-and..." He sniffed and let his voice trail off. _I'm screwing up again.  Everything I do only hurts others._

"Ai, no, wait.  I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry."  Rin was kneeling in front of him and cupping his face, wiping his tears with the pads of his thumbs.  "Hey, look at me?"

Ai brought his eyes up to Rin's and then the dam broke, he couldn't stop the tears from flowing freely as he sobbed.  "I'm so sorry, Senpai!  I didn't mean to say all of those things!  I was upset and I didn't mean them!  I didn't mean any of them!"

Rin pulled Ai to his chest, tucking Ai's head under his chin.  Sousuke slipped out of the room, throwing Rin a two finger salute as he let the door shut quietly.

"Hey, Ai, it's okay, I know you were upset."

"N-no, it's not okay!  I told you that our friendship wasn't worth the effort, and I never meant it, Senpai, honest!  Our friendship is s-so imp-important to me.  Y-you're the most special alpha to m-me, out of all the alphas in the world!"

Rin nuzzled his nose into Ai's hair and rubbed his back as the omega hiccupped and shook.  "You know I will always be here for you, Ai.  You aren't worthless because you mean so much to me.  So even if you're feeling bad about yourself, just remember in my eyes, you are _perfect_.  And there is nothing anyone can say or do to make me change my mind."

"Rin... Rin-Senpai."  Ai whined, a high, desperate sound in the back of his throat and he clung to Rin tighter.

"Do you believe me, Ai?"

Ai nodded his head, smearing his tears into Rin's shirt.  Rin held him gently by the shoulders and pulled him back, ducking his head to be eye level with Ai.

"There he is, there's my omega."

Ai felt his heart swell and he breathed out a laugh, a laugh that was still watery and sounded more like a sob, but he felt himself smiling.  His eyelashes were clumped together with tears, and the strange, spiky shape of them crowned the top of his vision as he met Rin's eyes.

"I can't be your omega unless you're my alpha."

Rin raised an eyebrow and then smirked.  "Well, then what are you proposing we do?"

Ai shrugged but knew his smile was growing bigger by the second.  "Whatever you want, Rin-Senpai."

"Whatever I want?  What if what I want is to, oh, let's see," Rin brushed aside Ai's bangs and with his other hand tilted Ai's chin up, "Do this?"

Rin pressed his lips gently to Ai's, only for a second, before pulling away.  Ai blinked in surprise, reeling from the soft kiss that was so feather light, so fleeting, he wasn't sure if he just imagined it.

"...Ai?"

Ai parted his lips and stared at Rin.  They were still close enough where he could still feel the warm puffs of Rin's breath on his skin and the only thing he could smell was Rin's sweet scent of salt water and cherry blossoms.

"Rin-Senpai..."  Ai's face broke out into a smile, his half-dried tear tracks shining on the apples of his cheeks.  "Then I'd ask you to do it again.  Please, Rin-Senpai."

Rin smiled, his sharp teeth on display as he nuzzled their noses together and then pressed another kiss to the corner of Ai's mouth, and then another on his lips, and then another on top of that one.

"Does this mean you want to be my alpha?"

Rin pulled Ai off the chair and on top of him, taking both of their weight as they fell back onto the floor.  Ai was immediately locked in an embrace, his face smooshed against Rin's chest.

"Yes!  I want to be your alpha and have you as my omega."

"Even if I'm...?"

Rin loosened his hold and Ai squirmed around in an attempt to prop himself up.

"What, even if you're trans?  Duh, I want _you_ , Ai.  All of who you are.  So how about it?  Be my omega?"

Ai laughed.  "I never thought I'd hear those words in my entire life!  Yes!  I will be Rin-Senpai's omega, and he will be my alpha."

"Good."

"Can you kiss me again, Senpai?"

Rin rolled his eyes.  "Soon you'll be asking me to _stop_ kissing you, cause I don't know if I can control myself around you."

Ai giggled as Rin rolled them over on their sides and peppered his face in small kisses.  "I highly doubt I'd ever ask you to stop doing something like that."

Rin's laugh was muffled in Ai's neck.  "We'll just have to find out, won't we?"

* * *

When Sousuke came back to his room he found Rin sleeping on the floor curled around a sleeping Ai.  Sousuke rolled his eyes and nudged Rin's foot with his own.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty.  The floor doesn't make the most comfortable bed."

Rin grumbled and pulled Ai closer.

"Oi, Rin.  Wake up.  Your back with thank me."

Rin opened one eye and peeked at Sousuke, then groaned and sat up.  Ai whimpered and Rin pulled him onto his lap, cradling his head on his shoulder.

"Wha...?"

"Go back to sleep, Ai, just moving us to the bed."

Sousuke shook his head and chuckled as he watched his room mate crawl into their bed with Ai, who was the equivalence of a living ragdoll.

* * *

"Ai-Senpai!  I was so worried!  You didn't come back last night and Rin-Senpai didn't answer his phone!  But then Sousuke-Senpai said you were with Rin-Senpai so I felt better but still, Ai-Senpai!"  Momo's cries were the last thing Ai wanted to hear right now but he wouldn't deny he was touched that his room mate cared about him.

"Ah, sorry, Momo-kun.  But I'm okay, I promise.  Rin-Senpai and I talked last night and everything is okay now."

Ai wasn't expecting Momo to fling his arms around him and squeaked as the air was squeezed out of his lungs.

"Momo....-kun... ple...please!"  Momo let go and Ai gasped, gulping in air.  "Momo-kun, see?  I'm okay."

Momo laughed and then scrambled off to dig through his stuff.  "Here!  I got Ai-Senpai a present because I knew he upset."

A small plastic container was shoved in Ai's face and Ai screamed as he coiled away.  _"Momo-kun!"_

"I'll put Daisuke on your desk!"

"...Thank you, Momo-kun.  But maybe Daisuke-san should go on your desk with your beetles so he doesn't get lonely?"

"Ai-Senpai is so smart!  I'll put him right next to Pyunsuke!"

Ai began to sort through his clothes on the floor to find a clean outfit.  "Ah, Momo-kun, I'm going to take a shower now.  Do you need the bathroom?"

"All yours.  But... I actually have a question for you, Ai-Senpai."

"Yes?"

"Why did you say you were an alpha?"

"Oh!"  Ai almost dropped his shirt.  "Oh, um... You thought... You... You didn't think I was an alpha?"

Momo tilted his head.  "No?  I always thought Ai-Senpai was an omega."

"B-But you've seen me in my swimsuit!"

"Of course, we're both on the swim team!"

Ai spluttered, unsure how to react to someone seeing his body in his tight swimsuit, and still thinking he was an omega.  "Momo-kun, I'm um, I'm trans-dynamic.  Which means I was born with parts that made everyone think I was an alpha.  I'm enrolled here as an alpha... It even says I'm an alpha on my school ID!"

"What?!"

"Uh, yeah," Ai laughed nervously, "I honestly didn't know you thought I was an omega without me telling you."

Momo stood there like a gaping fish, and when his words finally caught up with his brain he grabbed Ai by his shirt.

"Ai-Senpai is so _cool!_ "

"Uh, no, Momo-kun, this is just who I am... It's not really a choice..."

"No, no, I meant you're so cool cause you're so brave!  You swim on a team full of alphas and go to an all boys school who are mostly alphas and _you're so cool for standing up for who you are, Ai-Senpai!_ "

Ai was pulled into another hug and Ai was frozen in shock at Momo's words.  Brave?

"Momo-kun, I'm not really that brave... I haven't told anyone except Rin-Senpai and Sousuke-Senpai and now you.  So no one really knows.  I'm not standing up for myself, I'm just not letting anyone know."

"Even still, the fact you are brave enough to say it and tell us.  We must really be your friends!  I am honored to have Ai-Senpai's trust!"

Ai laughed, giving in and hugged Momo back.  "Thank you, Momo-kun!"

* * *

"Mikoshiba Momotarou on backstroke.  And that's it for the rely."

Ai let out the breath he was holding, deflating with his crushed hopes.  At the back of his mind, Ai knew his times weren't good enough for him to qualify for the relay, but it still hurt having it confirmed.  He tried not to look too disheartened when practice was dismissed and his teammates dispersed, leaving him standing alone.

"Ai."

He looked up at Rin and smiled, although it was forced and didn't quite match his usual smile.  "Yes, Senpai?"

"You understand why I didn't chose you for the rely, right?"

"Because of my times, Senpai.  I know they weren't fast enough."

Rin's face softened and he cupped the back of Ai's neck, giving it an affectionate squeeze.  "I wanted you to swim with me, Ai, I promise.  But this isn't--"

"About personal feelings, it's for the team.  I understand, Rin-Senpai.  I had hoped I could have been good enough for the team.  But... Some things aren't meant to be, right, Senpai?"

"Ai."  Rin said his name like a sigh, like he wanted to tell Ai that he was good enough, his swimming wasn't a failure, that _he_ wasn't a failure.  Ai didn't need to be on the team to be in Rin's heart, Ai already found his place there on his own.  "Let's go change up."

* * *

Watching the relay from the stands filled Ai with mixed emotions.  Excitement and sadness were swirling inside of him, creating a turmoil fueled by his adrenaline.  It didn't matter what he felt right now, what mattered was making sure he let the world know what team he was on, and who he stood for.  He waited for the starting signal to sound, and then he brought his cone up to his mouth and cheered.  By the time it was Rin's turn, Ai's voice was hoarse and his throat burned, but as soon as Rin hit the water Ai screamed as loud as he could, leading the team in their chant.  Ai had tears in his eyes when he saw that Rin had secured first place, and he let himself be jostled by his teammates in celebration, not even minding that they were butting his head with their own in typical alpha-to-alpha fashion.

* * *

"Rin-Senpai!"

Rin scooped Ai up and spun him around.  Both boys were crying and laughing, not caring who saw their ridiculous display.  Over Rin's shoulder Ai spotted the Iwatobi team.  "Oh!  Senpai, let me down!"

He ran over and nudged Makoto.  "Makoto-Senpai, your swimming is amazing!  Good job today!"

"Ai-kun!"  Ai was wrapped in a hug, once again, that lifted him off the ground.  "I'm so glad you came over.  I was hoping to see you today!"  They nuzzled their noses together and then Makoto placed him back on the ground.

"Ai-chan!"  Nagisa flung himself at Ai and poked him in the cheek.  "Cute as always!"

"Please don't call me that, Hazuki-san!"

Ai shrugged the omega off, and bowed his head to Haruka and Rei.  "You both did an amazing job today!  I hope to swim as beautifully as Ryugazaki-san and as free as Nanase-san one day!"

Rei blushed and stuttered but then bowed, declaring his gratitude while Nagisa snickered, and Haruka nodded and then slid his eyes away, smiling to himself.

"Ah, well, I must get going back to Rin-Senpai and my team now, but good job again!"  And he ran off, waving to them over his shoulder, pushing through the crowd to find his teammates.

* * *

"Rin-Senpai?"

"Yeah."

Ai was sitting at the foot of Rin's bed, going through some of his old science journals from his childhood.  Rin had his nose in some magazine about Olympic swimming.

"Rin-Senpai."

"Yeah."

Ai rolled his eyes and huffed.  "Hey, Rin-Senpai, I think I'm going to take my clothes off and climb up into Sousuke-Senpai's bed."

"Yeah."

"Rin!"  Ai tossed his journals aside and pounced on Rin, scooting under the magazine and nipping him on the chin, finally getting his attention.

"What?!  Dammit, Ai, was that really necessary?"

"Yes!  Senpai didn't even hear what I said."

"I was reading!"  Despite Rin's annoyed tone he put the magazine away and let Ai become the focus of his attention.

"Rin-Senpai... I've been thinking."

"About what, my love?"

"Well... You'll be graduating very soon and I want to be able to be myself once you're gone, cause you won't be here to make me feel better when I get scared.  So... I was thinking about coming out to the swim team.  While you were still here so you can kind of... make sure nothing bad happens.  But then I know I'd be confident enough to stand up for myself next year when I'm on my own."

Rin was quiet.

"I've been thinking about this for a while now, and the more I dwell on it the more I want to do it."

"If you want to tell the team, then I support you.  You realize that this means you'll have to tell the administration first of your plans, right?"

"Yes... I'm okay with that too.  I think it's a good way to slowly come out."

Rin hummed and ran his fingers through Ai's hair.  "Whenever you're ready, Ai.  Just let me know and I'll be there."

* * *

"Before I dismiss practice today I need your attention.  A teammate has something to tell us and I expect you to take him seriously and show him the upmost respect."

Ai's legs felt like they were giant gummy worms and he didn't know how he kept his balance.  Rin squeezed his shoulder in encouragement and Ai opened his mouth to speak, almost losing his nerve in front of all the eyes watching him.

"As many of you know, I'm Nitori Aiichirou, a second year.  Um, many of you probably think I'm an alpha but I'm not, I'm trans-dynamic and I'm an omega.  I don't expect you all to really understand what that means but I ask you with all of my heart to please respect me and treat me as an omega.  I feel like I'm a part of something by being on this swim team, and I want to be honest with all of you, and I hope you accept me."  Ai finished his announcement with a bow.

Rin let Ai's words sink in and waited til Ai stood up, looking up at Rin with a sheepish smile.

"I second Ai's request that you treat him with respect and dignity.  We are athletes, we are professional, we are students.  I expect all of you to act like it.  If there are any problems, I'll know about it and they won't go without consequences.  Understood?"

A murmur of affirmatives rose up.

"Good.  Practice is dismissed."

When nobody moved to leave, Ai rubbed the back of his neck, confused.  He looked at Rin who also looked somewhat taken off guard.

"Nitori-san."

An alpha named Uozumi Takuya stepped forward.  Ai instinctively took a step back and leaned closer to Rin.  Suspecting his teammate's discomfort, Takuya bowed his head slightly in a non threatening manner.

"I want to say, in front of the entire team, that I support you and if anyone gives you problems, he'll not only have Matsuoka-san to answer to, but me as well!"

"Me too!"  Momo jumped forward.

"And me."  Another alpha, Kazuteru Minami, stepped forward.

"And me!"  The only other omega on the team stepped forward and held his chin up, his eyes full of a fire that dared an alpha to challenge him.

 With each person who stepped forward, two more were inspired to join them and declare their support, until the entire team was standing before Ai.

"I..." Words were getting caught in his throat, and his vision blurred with tears.  "Thank you!  Thank you all!"  He bowed again and his teammates bombarded him, ruffling his hair and nudging him playfully and dotingly.  He wiped away tears as he laughed, and let Momo pick him up in a hug, blushing all the while.  He met Rin's eyes and the alpha blinked slowly at him, a satisfied smile slipping onto his face.  Some of his teammates were crooning, and he wrapped his arms tighter around Momo, burying his face in his room mate's neck.

For the first time, Ai felt like he belonged, like he didn't have to hide.  For the first time, he felt that everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAHH hope that didn't feel rushed. I didn't really want this to be a huge story, but it kind of ended up that way so I didn't include a lot of details that would make this story feel more completed. Right now in my opinion, it's only half of what it could be, but I don't have the energy to give it all it deserves. Perhaps I'll write a few companion pieces exploring some topics like when Ai comes out to his parents (yikes), when Rin makes him captain of the team, more of Ai and Sousuke's relationship, exploring how Ai and Rin are intimate (in a very respectful manner, it wouldn't be sexytime smut), maybe some more Ai and Makoto interaction, maybe with Haru too. I don't know. I may or may not.
> 
> Also minor detail: in the first chapter there are two other omegas on the swim team, and the fact there was only one other in the second chapter wasn't a mistake! One of them graduated. Not important but I wanted to show that I wasn't messing up on my consistency. Also excuse any mistakes I have made on the honorifics. I'm literally going by what I've read online, so if anyone who is a native speaker or has lived in Japan/familiar with the culture sees anything that's embarrassingly incorrect, PLEASE point it out. I won't be offended, I'll be thankful.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


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